The ancient Celtic tradition of handfasting, though most commonly associated with neopaganism, is a timeless ritual formally binding your devotion. With perfect love and perfect trust, your lives are now intertwined—where there was one, now there are two. Whether your ceremony is performed by Priestess and Priest or an all-faith Minister, it can be tailored to your individual customs and beliefs. Clasped hands in the shape of infinity are tied with ribbons or cords of meaningful colors, symbolizing the intertwining of your lives. Usually held during spring and summer months, and often on Beltaine (May 1st), an outdoor ceremony can be as casual or as formal as you wish. It can be as simple as the two of you, each with a witness, and the officiant of your choosing, or it can be more elaborate, incorporating your beliefs by the casting of the circle and jumping of the besom (broom) or balefire.
As with any alternative ceremony, your planning begins by choosing the amount of your spirituality to incorporate into the ceremony. In the case of a neopagan handfasting, you should consider family and friends and how accepting they are of your spiritual choices. You don't want to alienate them with your alternative religious beliefs, but you must also stay true to yourself. When planning this type of more elaborate ceremony, we suggest incorporating some meaningful history and thoughtful explanations of customs and traditions into your wedding program, thereby including all guests in what makes your ceremony special to you. The more guests understand what your ceremony means, the more comfortable with it, and accepting of it, they will be. The handfasting ceremony is probably not the best time to come out of the broom closet—you need to concentrate all of your energy on the beauty of your day, and not court potential disaster.
Although brides often wear red, any color that has symbolic meaning to you can be used. From one cord, to three or six, your choice of colors and charms will hold meaning for you both as long as you are together, and should be chosen together, although some paths have different color decrees. With vows usually written by the couple, you can use sentiments or poetry that has a direct correlation to your newly joined lives.
Be creative, have fun and create the special day of your dreams, whatever they are. We are here to offer you inspiration and ideas, to assist you in the realization of those dreams.
Blessed Be.
As with any alternative ceremony, your planning begins by choosing the amount of your spirituality to incorporate into the ceremony. In the case of a neopagan handfasting, you should consider family and friends and how accepting they are of your spiritual choices. You don't want to alienate them with your alternative religious beliefs, but you must also stay true to yourself. When planning this type of more elaborate ceremony, we suggest incorporating some meaningful history and thoughtful explanations of customs and traditions into your wedding program, thereby including all guests in what makes your ceremony special to you. The more guests understand what your ceremony means, the more comfortable with it, and accepting of it, they will be. The handfasting ceremony is probably not the best time to come out of the broom closet—you need to concentrate all of your energy on the beauty of your day, and not court potential disaster.
Although brides often wear red, any color that has symbolic meaning to you can be used. From one cord, to three or six, your choice of colors and charms will hold meaning for you both as long as you are together, and should be chosen together, although some paths have different color decrees. With vows usually written by the couple, you can use sentiments or poetry that has a direct correlation to your newly joined lives.
Be creative, have fun and create the special day of your dreams, whatever they are. We are here to offer you inspiration and ideas, to assist you in the realization of those dreams.
Blessed Be.
Sample Handfasting Ceremony & Declaration of Intent - (6 cords)
Know now before you go further, that since your lives have crossed in this life you have formed ties between each other. As you seek to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real, the ideals which give meaning to both this ceremony and the institution of marriage.
With full awareness, know that within this circle you are not only declaring your intent to be handfasted before your friends and family, but you speak that intent also to your creative higher powers.
The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union; they will cross the years and lives of each soul's growth.
Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?
Yes, We Seek to Enter.
In times past it was believed that the human soul shared characteristics with all things divine. It is this belief which assigned virtues to the cardinal directions; East, South, West and North. It is in this tradition that a blessing is offered in support of this ceremony.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the East. Communication of the heart, mind, and body Fresh beginnings with the rising of each Sun. The knowledge of the growth found in the sharing of silences.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the South. Warmth of hearth and home The heat of the heart's passion The light created by both To lighten the darkest of times.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the West. The deep commitments of the lake The swift excitement of the river The refreshing cleansing of the rain The all encompassing passion of the sea.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the North Firm foundation on which to build Fertility of the fields to enrich your lives A stable home to which you may always return.
Each of these blessings from the four cardinal directions emphasizes those things which will help you build a happy and successful union. Yet they are only tools. Tools which you must use together in order to create what you seek in this union.
I bid you look into each others eyes.
[Groom's Name], Will you cause her pain?
I May (What was actually said was an emphatic yes)
Is that your intent?
No
[Bride's Name], Will you cause him pain?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
*To Both*
Will you share each other's pain and seek to ease it?
Yes
And so the binding is made. Join your hands
*First cord is draped across the bride and grooms hands*
[Bride's Name], Will you share his laughter?
Yes
[Groom's Name], Will you share her laughter?
Yes
*To Both*
Will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?
Yes
And so the binding is made.
*Second chord is draped across the couples hands*
[Bride's Name], Will you burden him?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
[Groom's Name], Will you burden her?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
*To Both*
Will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union?
Yes
And so the binding is made.
*Drape third chord across the couples hands*
[Bride's Name], will you share his dreams?
Yes
[Groom's Name], will you share her dreams?
Yes
*To Both*
Will you dream together to create new realities and hopes?
Yes
And so the binding is made.
*Drape fourth chord across the couples hands*
[Groom's Name], will you cause her anger?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
[Bride's Name], will you cause him anger?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
*To Both*
Will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?
We Will
And so the binding is made.
*Drape fifth chord across the couples hands*
[Bride's Name], Will you honor him?
I will
[Groom's Name], Will you honor her?
I will
*To Both*
Will you seek to never give cause to break that honor?
We shall never do so
And so the binding is made.
*Drape sixth chord across the couples hands*
*Tie chords together while saying:*
The knots of this binding are not formed by these chords but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the chords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making of breaking of this union.
*Once chords are tied together they are removed and placed on altar*
With full awareness, know that within this circle you are not only declaring your intent to be handfasted before your friends and family, but you speak that intent also to your creative higher powers.
The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union; they will cross the years and lives of each soul's growth.
Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?
Yes, We Seek to Enter.
In times past it was believed that the human soul shared characteristics with all things divine. It is this belief which assigned virtues to the cardinal directions; East, South, West and North. It is in this tradition that a blessing is offered in support of this ceremony.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the East. Communication of the heart, mind, and body Fresh beginnings with the rising of each Sun. The knowledge of the growth found in the sharing of silences.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the South. Warmth of hearth and home The heat of the heart's passion The light created by both To lighten the darkest of times.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the West. The deep commitments of the lake The swift excitement of the river The refreshing cleansing of the rain The all encompassing passion of the sea.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the North Firm foundation on which to build Fertility of the fields to enrich your lives A stable home to which you may always return.
Each of these blessings from the four cardinal directions emphasizes those things which will help you build a happy and successful union. Yet they are only tools. Tools which you must use together in order to create what you seek in this union.
I bid you look into each others eyes.
[Groom's Name], Will you cause her pain?
I May (What was actually said was an emphatic yes)
Is that your intent?
No
[Bride's Name], Will you cause him pain?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
*To Both*
Will you share each other's pain and seek to ease it?
Yes
And so the binding is made. Join your hands
*First cord is draped across the bride and grooms hands*
[Bride's Name], Will you share his laughter?
Yes
[Groom's Name], Will you share her laughter?
Yes
*To Both*
Will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?
Yes
And so the binding is made.
*Second chord is draped across the couples hands*
[Bride's Name], Will you burden him?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
[Groom's Name], Will you burden her?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
*To Both*
Will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union?
Yes
And so the binding is made.
*Drape third chord across the couples hands*
[Bride's Name], will you share his dreams?
Yes
[Groom's Name], will you share her dreams?
Yes
*To Both*
Will you dream together to create new realities and hopes?
Yes
And so the binding is made.
*Drape fourth chord across the couples hands*
[Groom's Name], will you cause her anger?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
[Bride's Name], will you cause him anger?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
*To Both*
Will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?
We Will
And so the binding is made.
*Drape fifth chord across the couples hands*
[Bride's Name], Will you honor him?
I will
[Groom's Name], Will you honor her?
I will
*To Both*
Will you seek to never give cause to break that honor?
We shall never do so
And so the binding is made.
*Drape sixth chord across the couples hands*
*Tie chords together while saying:*
The knots of this binding are not formed by these chords but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the chords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making of breaking of this union.
*Once chords are tied together they are removed and placed on altar*
Copyright © 2012
Renee Ukena - Edwardsville, IL
Contact me at [email protected] to discuss your ceremony and start your journey together
Renee Ukena - Edwardsville, IL
Contact me at [email protected] to discuss your ceremony and start your journey together